Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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