i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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