You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
