just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
