Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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