All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
