Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
