I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
