At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
is wine microwaveable?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
