I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
