She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
