Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
soo... how was my night?
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