he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
