why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
