is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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