If you die in college, do you die in real life?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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