On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
