he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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