so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize