didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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