McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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