last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
