i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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