did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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