I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
