The maid of honor just puked.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Randomize
