That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
