ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
