the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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