I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
