Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
