He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
