last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
