I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
