he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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