he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
