There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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