He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
