3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
