well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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