the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
