I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
