His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
