How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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