R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
