God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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