...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
