And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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