I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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