its not stalking. its research.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
