Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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